IC CONTACT - DRIFT FLEET

[onlyanapple]

Hi, this is Anthony Crowley. Uh, I’m probably not in right now, or asleep, and busy, or something, but leave a message after the tone and I’ll get right back to you. Ciao. BeeeEEeeeEEeee.



[Voice][Text][Action]

FROM: SUBJECT: FIE did you hear about the guy... FIE the past, the present, and the future walk into a bar... it was tense FIE did you know babies are cooked at womb temperature? JAYDEN Happy dawning WOLFE Ten months late for work FIE You're doing a grape job with your bar. FIE Your decor remains fruitiful. FIE You have a bluetiful establishment. FIE Thank blue for the service. ALLEN Okay Castiel's been in the fleet several days and you haven't turned up in my quarters drunk... ANDERS I just wanted you to know that you've ruined my happy home life. ALLEN Crowley ALLEN Crowley I have some really good news!! ALLEN I got a bottle of Varric's newest product NANAKO Crowley I hope you've been doing ok! FELIX This planet is miserable ALEX PRESENT COMBO BREAKER INO Meet me at Allen's room -- ALLEN Ino's birthday is the 23rd INO So not only did I get Allen TWO different dates that he ENJOYED... ALLEN I haven't seen any magazines appear in my room lately. INO Alright, I need you to help me with something. ALLEN Who's Adam? INO Alright, you win. We're dating. ALLEN You're okay, right? INO You are SO dead the next time I see you ALLEN CROWLEY I THINK INO'S FOUND ANOTHER GUY

TO: SUBJECT: SAM Got something I need you to do for me. NAMI Sam's in the garden and he's being weird ALLEN ACTION TEK ACTION INO Okay so Sudden pop quiz question ALLEN You've been on two whole dates now and haven't even reported back to me once. INO Someone stole your face

inboxcode by cawaii

Comments

Voice (shortly after arrival at ice planet)

[lord_wizard]

[A day of wandering on the surface proved to Felix that it was possible for something this inhospitable to be beautiful, but also cold and lonely. Thinking about that, and everything he'd been shoving into the metaphorical closet, makes him dial Crowley with slightly numb fingers.]

This planet is miserable. Where you you?

[He needs a drink or...something. Also, based on the sound of rustling and footsteps, he's already coming to find Crowley. Knowing the demon's hatred for the cold, Felix guesses he's bundled up in his own ship, though there's ample time to detour back to his own to borrow a shuttle.]

Voice;

[onlyanapple]

[Felix would be, of course, absolutely right in that assessment. Crowley is in his room, curled up in as many blankets as he could flinch, hating every second of this Someone-forsaken hunk of floating ice. ]

In my room on the Pathstone. Not stepping foot onto this fucking planet so don't even ask me to.

voice

[lord_wizard]

I wouldn't dream of it. A short tour was quite enough for me.

[And at least he's going the right direction. He's only limited by how fast he can walk right now. Stupid ice.]

...did you know they worship those moons we were on previously?

voice

[onlyanapple]

[Ice is the worst. ]

What, really? All of them or just...one of them? Because those were some very different moons.

[lord_wizard]

All of them. I think they're different denominations. They had separate churches, at any rate. Forgive me if my discovery stopped there.

[There's a slight metallic clang that follow, along with an aborted curse.]

[onlyanapple]

Huh, how about that?

...

You hit your head on something?

[Look he cares! ]

[lord_wizard]

I tripped. It's so cold I can hardly feel my toes...

[Certainly it's just that, and not the fact that he's clumsy and trying to talk and walk at the same time.]

Just a minute. [He shuts the communicator off and pockets it as he continues onto the Pathstone. A minute or so later the door to Crowley's room creaks open and the wizard invites himself in]

[onlyanapple]

Poor darling~

[He'd find it a lot less funny if it was him.

When Felix lets himself in, Crowley is indeed in bed, surrounded by more blankets than he probably should have. He's probably stolen some from some poor bastard on the Pathstone. ]

And lo, he appears.

[lord_wizard]

[He'll pay you back for that terrible display of sympathy in a minute]

[He does manage a sarcastic bow once he's inside] Summoned out the cold by the glow of your good nature, no doubt.

I see you've made yourself comfortable. Do you plan on being in here the entire time? [He doesn't really care where the blankets came from, because right the only person's comfort he's consulting is his own. Speaking of which, he's already unbuttoning his coat. He doesn't have any snow left on him, but the damp has worked it's way in at the shoulders and the hems of his pants. None of it is really designed for winter.]

[onlyanapple]

That's how I'll tell it if anyone asks.

[He so won't. Still, he'll be good and pull the blankets aside. See, Felix, he's willing to share them with you. Be so very, very honoured.]

Given that you look like you've been swimming in a frozen pond, I see absolutely no reason to step toe out of here when it means I'm warm and dry.

[lord_wizard]

[He sets the jacket aside and takes a seat on the bed to start on his shoes and socks.]

Gross exaggeration aside, I can assure you that it is not, in fact, snowing inside the corridors or the kitchen. Though I can't vouch for anywhere else.

[The smirk he gives Crowley over his shoulder says that, yes, he is honored.]

[onlyanapple]

Then I suppose if I'm dying of boredom I can show face there. So good of you, to do this intrepid trek through a frozen pond to tell me these things. Your heroism has been noted and filed away for future recompense.

[lord_wizard]

[He gave Crowley a flat look that cracked at the edges as the last shoe hit the floor, followed the wet smack of a sodden sock.]

How far in the future do you imagine that will be?

[Felix fingers the hem of his pants and sighs. Can't take those into bed, so he quickly slips those off as well. Despite what it looks like and despite the casual flirting, this isn't about sex. Not really. He needs something. Something warm yes, but also something familiar.]

[onlyanapple]

[Crowley can sense that, of course. He gives a wry smile in return. ]

As always, that's your choice, Felix.

[lord_wizard]

Good. Because I'm tired.

[Finally free of any damp clothing, he turns to lay sideways on the bed, pulling the blankets after him, and Crowley receives his first reward - cold toes against his legs.]

[onlyanapple]

[Wow that is super rude and Crowley lets out a disgruntled hiss in protest. ]

You're infinitely lucky I like you. coming in here with your cold toes.

[Still, he doesn't seem to mind THAT much, as he moves his arm to let Felix move in closer. ]

[lord_wizard]

I know you do. That's why I'm here.

[He shifts closer, settling against the weight and heat and draping an arm across the demon's chest in a way that's almost shy. Because he doesn't do this, usually - not without the detachment of post-coital bliss or the fog of alcohol lulling him into apathy. There's nothing between them now to help him pretend, and without that wall the events of the month prior are etched very clearly into his mind.]

I'm glad I'm here. [He says it softly, half muffled into Crowley's shoulder]

[onlyanapple]

[Crowley watches him for a moment, and the horrible fear drops into his heart. Paradisa taught him a harsh lesson about caring for someone too much. It was like some cosmic joke that he wasn't allowed to be happy. To find that sort of happiness with someone else. (Probably thanks to that whole 'cursed are you above all the wild animals' thing, thanks Dad). They always vanished, usually roughly a couple months after he allowed those feelings to be known.

...But Felix hasn't left him. It had been the other way around. And Felix had followed him (albiet thanks to Atroma) to this place. More to the point, Felix had remembered him. He didn't have to feel the pain of knowing someone so well and have them look at him as if he were a stranger with Felix. Everything was still there. Crowley knows hope is a dangerous thing, especially where he's concerned. Yet hope he does.

The fear is still there, though. He cannot do this again. Lay everything down and have it torn away. Rebuild himself all over again. ...But. He considers some blithe remark, keep that distance. It would be wiser. But...he doesn't. He can't. ]

...Yeah. Me too.

[lord_wizard]

[At some point in time it simply becomes more difficult to keep building up that wall between the rising tide of feelings, and things had spilled over until he'd looked down to find himself ankle-deep in it. That wasn't a comfortable metaphor, because it implied that someday it might drown him if he kept trying to ignore that it was there. The alternative was to latch onto this...whatever Crowley's presence in his life represented...and hope it didn't disappear or pitch him right back into the sea.

He can't say what it is that he wants. Neither of them can promise anything, that's something they both know from experience. They can't promise permanency, because both of them have suffered the coming of people they loved, only to have them leave with a piece of their hearts in tow. Crowley, however, was one of those pieces for him.

What he's reaching for, he still isn't sure, and the uncertainty is a cold grip on his heart. He lets those words sink in for a minute that seems painfully long, shivering not just from the lingering chill, and curls his arm against Crowley's ribs.]

I spent years asking myself when I would get to go home. Missing it. But when I came here instead...going back doesn't seem quite so urgent.

[It's still implication at this point, that Crowley is part of the reason for that. Innocuous conversation except for the fact that he still isn't looking Crowley in the eyes.]

[onlyanapple]

[Crowley's silent, his fingers moving up to play quietly in Felix's hair. He listens to every word, his mouth a thin line. He wants this, but he fears it, too. It's asking for trouble, when it comes down to it. Tempting fate, and fate is consistently cruel in places like this.

After a while, he lets out a soft hum.]

Can't say I was all that keen to go home in the first place.

[Aziraphale is there, and Crowley misses him desperately but the wrath of Hell is ALSO there. ]

But I have far more here than I do there.

[And Felix is definitely a part of that. A very big part. ]

[lord_wizard]

[He understands that sentiment all too well, and the reason why tumbles out of his mouth before he can stop himself.]

I was exiled...before I arrived at the castle.

[Meaning, you know, he wasn't looking forward to his future either.

And that was just the thing, wasn't it? Because what was the point of living if you couldn't enjoy the parts that mattered? Loss was inevitable in life. Things were finite. At least, for any human. As far as he knew Crowley was eternal, and maybe that should have bothered him, but it never had. The same way Crowley had seemed to see through him from the beginning and hadn't cared. In some cases, almost literally, as the nightmare from the previous month proved.]

Crowley...[He lifts his head a little so he can finally look at the demon]...about what you said to me...last month...

[He's talking mostly about what occurred in his own calibration; something he could have gone on ignoring but the need to know why is eating at him, as much as he needs to know if Crowley remembers it at all]

[onlyanapple]

Hm. And yet you were willing to go back?

[Then again, it was still HOME, wasn't it? Something tangible. Something real. Something familiar. Just...something.

Crowley stills, his brow furrowing. After a few moments of silence, he exhales, speaks again. ]

Do you mean the calibrations?

[lord_wizard]

[It was obligation he felt to see it through, despite how much it terrified him. His brother was the stronger reason these days, though he was split between missing him and the notion that his half-sibling was better off without him.

He knows this is breaking their unspoken rule. Not talking about things. It's a status quo that has served them well for years and he's dancing on the edge of that. But he's also incredibly insecure under that lazy swagger, so while he considers backpedaling for about half a minute, he does the opposite.]

Yes. ['Worth a thousand of him', Crowley had said. Or something to that effect. He doesn't need that reiterated, and he suddenly realizes how it might seem like he might be fishing for some kind of declaration. Neither of them wants that.] Just...how have you always been so sure? About me?

[onlyanapple]

[This is far too near Honest Feelings for Crowley's comfort. But the ball has been rolling, and it's likely just to gain momentum from this point onwards. Best to just let it roll, instead of trying to stop it and getting himself crushed. ]

The simple answer is I can see people's souls. I know what sort of person someone is at a glance. Important part of the temptation process. Knowing how much good and evil is in the core of someone's being.

[But that's not what this is, and his mouth forms a thin line, his jaw clenching ]

The complicated answer is that I know you. We've known each other a long time. I learned exactly the sort of person you are and I stand by what I said. You didn't deserve anything that happened to you, even if it shaped you into who you are today. You deserved better than that. Than him.

[lord_wizard]

[It's curious how close to despair elation is. He has to look away again before the cracks show, though it's harder to disguise the teardrops on the pillow. Silence stretches again before he draws in a breath]

So did you.

[Than what God had done to Crowley, which is another of quite a few stories he only knows the pieces of. Enough to know where the wounds were, because while he couldn't see people the way the demon could, he always seemed to pinpoint the things that would hurt them the most. Especially in people he loved.

And there it was. The thought he'd been avoiding. The word he'd still never say out loud but the presence of which taunts him.

I'm...[Sorry. Another word he doesn't like to say. His hand clutches in the sheet, then flutters uncertainly at Crowley's shoulder. He isn't good at being comforting and afraid to acknowledge, for both their sake, that there's anything there to comfort at all.] I needed to be sure it wasn't Atroma showing me what I wanted to hear.

[Which is true enough, in part.]