IC CONTACT - DRIFT FLEET

[onlyanapple]

Hi, this is Anthony Crowley. Uh, I’m probably not in right now, or asleep, and busy, or something, but leave a message after the tone and I’ll get right back to you. Ciao. BeeeEEeeeEEeee.



[Voice][Text][Action]

FROM: SUBJECT: FIE did you hear about the guy... FIE the past, the present, and the future walk into a bar... it was tense FIE did you know babies are cooked at womb temperature? JAYDEN Happy dawning WOLFE Ten months late for work FIE You're doing a grape job with your bar. FIE Your decor remains fruitiful. FIE You have a bluetiful establishment. FIE Thank blue for the service. ALLEN Okay Castiel's been in the fleet several days and you haven't turned up in my quarters drunk... ANDERS I just wanted you to know that you've ruined my happy home life. ALLEN Crowley ALLEN Crowley I have some really good news!! ALLEN I got a bottle of Varric's newest product NANAKO Crowley I hope you've been doing ok! FELIX This planet is miserable ALEX PRESENT COMBO BREAKER INO Meet me at Allen's room -- ALLEN Ino's birthday is the 23rd INO So not only did I get Allen TWO different dates that he ENJOYED... ALLEN I haven't seen any magazines appear in my room lately. INO Alright, I need you to help me with something. ALLEN Who's Adam? INO Alright, you win. We're dating. ALLEN You're okay, right? INO You are SO dead the next time I see you ALLEN CROWLEY I THINK INO'S FOUND ANOTHER GUY

TO: SUBJECT: SAM Got something I need you to do for me. NAMI Sam's in the garden and he's being weird ALLEN ACTION TEK ACTION INO Okay so Sudden pop quiz question ALLEN You've been on two whole dates now and haven't even reported back to me once. INO Someone stole your face

inboxcode by cawaii

Comments

[onlyanapple]

He's a kid I was assigned to watch over back home. I kind of bollocksed it up. I'm sure I mentioned him before. World almost ended, all that mess.

[Daddy loves both of you, now go get him a beer.]

[save_the_souls]

Not in detail! The most I remember being like "world almost ended, but it worked out in the end. Snarky remark about that's good since Hell's awful"

[Something like that anyway.]

Why were you assigned to watch over a kid?

[NOT THAT IT MATTERS TO HIM OR ANYTHING!!!]

[onlyanapple]

Oh. My bad, then.

He's the antichrist. It was my job to keep an eye on him, maybe sure he reaches his... full potential. Me and Aziraphale had a good plan to try and make him a bit more even, stop him from destroying everything. There was a fuck up and we raised the wrong kid. Adam is pretty much completely human. No desire to destroy anything.

...He was also eleven last time I saw him. So there's that.

[save_the_souls]

What?! Wait- he's the Antichrist? They brought the Antichrist onto the fleet!?

[OH. THAT'S JUST WONDERFUL. NO WAY THAT'LL END BAD. And that doesn't even start on the rest of the story]

And wait. What do you mean you raised the wrong kid? There's another kid? How do you even get another kid mixed up for the Antichrist?!

[onlyanapple]

Relax. He's not interested in destroying anything. He grew up human, so humanity is where his interests lie. Neither Heaven nor Hell can sway him either way. He's chosen his side.

[As have he and Aziraphale, he knows. Neither of them will be welcome back to their own sides any more. ]

There was a mixup with some nuns. There were multiple babies born in the same place, I ended up watching over the wrong one. It's really embarrassing, I don't want to talk about it.

[He is really, really shit at his job, Allen. ]

[save_the_souls]

Seriously? The Antichrist just choose to be human and stands on our side? [WHILE HE'S ALL FOR PEOPLE CHOOSING THEIR OWN PATHS, EVEN HE NEEDS A SECOND HERE SINCE IT'S THE ANTICHRIST] Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't he supposed to be the embodiment of all things evil?

[I mean sure, yay for humanity for not having the Antichrist wanting to wipe them out, but still that's about as weird as you can get.]

...

I'm sorry, but even I find that really sad. [Seriously he feels a bit of secondhand embarrassment here and he's not even on Hell's side.] Is the other kid alright?

[onlyanapple]

That's pretty much it. Yeah. He's a good person, actually. [There's a long, embarassed pause. ] Well, not really. It turns out nurture beats nature every time. Doubt even Hell saw that one coming. Then again, they thought I was following him, carefully nudging him towards the evil and the power he'd one day yield.

Yeah, thanks a lot for that. Warlock? He's...kind of a little shit, me and Aziraphale shared him. Tried to make him more...even. I think we just fucked him up.

[save_the_souls]

[There's a long bit of silence here. It's almost like he's lost for words. This is just...God. All of this is so idiotic. No wonder humans are His favorite. Jesus Christ.]

...You had the child named Warlock?

[onlyanapple]

Oh, no no. The Satanic nuns doing the delivery helped name him that.

[save_the_souls]

Jesus Christ.

[He is just not sure how to feel about all this. Like he should be glad Hell and Satanists are apparently this stupid, but...really he expected better. He really expected better.]

Alright, so. You were supposed to care for the Antichrist- but you lost him and he got raised human. You tried raising a different kid called....Warlock...and tried to make him "even". Turned out out that was the wrong kid, which was for the best since you did a poor job raising him. And when you found the Antichrist, he's human so the world wasn't destroyed and now...

He grew up? You said something about him being eleven. That man is not eleven.

[onlyanapple]

No. He's the son on the OTHER side.

That's exactly right. Yeah. Not sure how he's not eleven any more. Maybe time does move forward after all. Or maybe he's from the future. Who knows.

[save_the_souls]

Yes. Thank you for clarifying that.

Probably from the future, from how he talked about you. So what are you supposed to do now? Are you supposed to still look after him?

[onlyanapple]

Well, technically, he looks after himself. I'm more there as... theological support.

[save_the_souls]

Theological support?

Like a priest?

[onlyanapple]

Except...the opposite of that.

Because demon.

[save_the_souls]

...That's still looking after him, Crowley.

[onlyanapple]

That is only a minor technicality.

[save_the_souls]

[So the sort of minor technicality that probably translates into yes, he'd totally be looking out for this guy and Crowley just doesn't want to admit it. Allen knows that tune of Crowley's damn well by now.]

[And...it gets a good pause. Right. He's honestly not 100% sure what he was hoping for by starting this conversation beyond maybe putting his mind at ease, but he can tell that is the opposite of what's happening. In fact learning all these things has probably just made it worse, seeing how he is not only still jealous of Adam- but he's sincerely wondering what the hell they were thinking when they let Crowley babysit Nanako ever. And is Warlock okay? Seriously, he's still kinda concerned about how that kid's gonna turn out.]

[And frankly, he's not even sure what to say to Crowley to address these issues. So, time to end this]

I should go.

[onlyanapple]

[This is weird, and he really doesn't understand what's up with Allen at all. It's hard to judge tone over the text, too. It especially doesn't help he's not good at checking if people are upset. ]

...Okay? It's just that I'm detecting an undertone of not okay.

[save_the_souls]

No, it's-

[There's a pause. Uuuuugh what does he even say. He's probably rubbing his head on his side as he figures out if or what he should say. But, rather than going for the mature confession-]

I don't like Adam.

[onlyanapple]

Really? Most people do. He has this... charm. It's there on purpose. Maybe it doesn't work on you.

[save_the_souls]

I found him annoying. He asked me if I was a homewrecker when I said I knew you. Then he started going on about kettles and metaphors.

[Yes. That's absolutely the reason this guy bugs him. Totally. The metaphors.]

Wait. What do you mean the charm's there on purpose?

[onlyanapple]

Sounds like Adam. He's was pretty fucking weird when he was eleven, I dread to think what adulthood has done to him.

Well. He had to live on Earth for eleven years until it was time so to speak. The Boss wouldn't want his kid getting someone all uppity and chance harming him. Got to make him amenable. Unsuspecting.

[save_the_souls]

So he gave him unnatural charisma to make sure his son was protected.

Well no wonder he ended up liking humanity, anyone would if almost everyone was nice to you. [coughSPOILEDcough.]

[onlyanapple]

That's just nature, right? Protecting your young? Most things do that.

I'm sure he had some people who didn't like him.

I'm sensing a lot of bitterness.